Something tugged on my heart to finally go through my emails from the early period of my back surgery recovery in January. I hadn't even thought about it until last night.
I owe an apology to those of you that had emailed me, and received no response. The first three weeks of my recovery are quite the blur. I have very limited memories from the two weeks in the hospital, and the first week of being home, and even after that for several weeks especially while my pain medications were jostled I have hazy memories. It appears that I had started to communicate a bit on Facebook, but thank goodness my comments were short and sweet as from what I'm seeing they didn't make much sense most of the time. As I sit here and write this, I question whether Ryan had made the status updates that made sense on my page on my behalf. LOL! Well, the pain narcotics served their purpose (most of the time), and for that I'm incredibly grateful. To those that had communicated with me with no response, I'm sorry.
As I read through my emails last night the tears began to flow. This journey is a daily reminder for me. I still have moments of abnormalities. Bending down, standing up from sitting, or sitting in uncomfortable chairs may cause random jolts of pain. Hmm, however, as I write this I am thinking I don't remember the last time that I complained about potholes in the road. Woo Hoo! My can do list is by far greater than any can't do list! Thank you Jesus! One day at a time, and look where I'm at now.
I will never forget the strong love and support that was provided by all of you. Through my faith and trust in God, as well as, all of you "clogging the frequency" (taken from a friends post) to God with your prayer requests; I was granted peace, serenity, and a positive outcome of my surgery.
I also read my devotional again for the morning of my surgery on the 7th of January. I am continuously amazed at how God's timing is perfect in every way. I remember reading this and thinking I can do this. Take a look...
What are you looking at today? Not in the natural, but with your spiritual eyes. In other words, what is in the forefront of your mind and in your heart? Are you constantly dwelling on your problems or things that have happened in your past? In the natural, you will move in the direction that your eyes are looking. In the spiritual, it works the same way. Whatever you focus your mind and heart on, you will move toward. That’s why today’s verse tells us to look straight ahead. If you are constantly dwelling on your problems or things in your past, wondering “what if,” then you will stay right where you are.
I talked very little, prayed a lot, and listened to God on my way to the hospital. I was "looking straight ahead" believing all good things for me and my recovery. I didn't play any "what if" games with God. Nope, not even focused on the problem in my back. I shared with Him that I trusted that His will would be done in my life. I felt at peace knowing that there is a reason for everything. I also knew that I had no control over what was about to happen in my life for the next several days, so I wasn't about to expend my energy in that arena either.
Today, I am still focusing my mind and heart on all the positive things in my life. Yes, I do continue with pains from my back surgery, but I choose not to focus on them. I allow my body to feel the pain, and then I move on. I acknowledge the pain, but I never dwell on it. That is how I live my life too. I have a relationship in my life that is causing me pain, so I do what I can to be the best person I can be and then I let the results be in God's hands. I never dwell on it. I found an item in my inbox from this person last night, and it was a treasure to find. I don't know if this is why I was lead to read through my emails, but this action sure has given me a gift.
My hope is that by my writing this blog, you will "look straight ahead" and find the gifts in your life. I challenge you to focus on what is in your mind and heart. Ask God to direct your heart on the path of life that He has in store for you.